what a lousy day..

but this ball cheered me up.. hee..

anyway, the strap on my bag broke off slightly. i can't use it until i go home and get my mummy to sew it up again.. so sad, i dun have any other nice bags to use in hall now.. and i dun intend to go home till 2 weeks later.. sad sad.. then my supervisor gave me an unhappy face when i asked for his signature (though it is quite understandable, given the state of my project).. then the clerk in the mech engin dept office refused to help me fax that form over to the life sci dept. come on man, it's only one piece of paper, and it's for official business, within nus.. a "world-class university" indeed.. luckily the life sci person let me hand it in tmr personally instead, though she could try to sound a bit more polite than that.. and then as if it couldn't get worse, someone from wardroom called and kindly asked me to pay them by this weekend. granted it's long overdue lar, but it couldn't have come at a worse timing.. now that my net worth is less that 100 dollars. desperately waiting for my hostel fee reimbursement, and my cash from my sold shares!! where is it??!

but i bought a soccer ball just now. $24.90 from queensway. i believe it is the first soccer ball i own, hee.. hopefully i get to use it this sat. gonna try to get guys from our network to play near mountbatten cc. =)

i dreamt abt the middle east last night.. so freaky..

"they're all gone.."

The world was watching in 1972 as 11 Israeli athletes were murdered at the Munich Olympics. This is the story of what happened next.

finally watched munich today. not a beautiful movie, but one that really sucked me in.. it's so intense and gripping, that i felt strangely overwhelmed by it after i stepped out.. the movie has really many ideas, that it may seem conflicting at times, but i think it's only becos spielberg presented it in a "non-partisan" way (if i may put it that way). well well.. so many qns flooding my head now.. can the war against terrorism really end? on what basis? and is it really "terrorism"?

makes me wonder for a while: will i kill another human being if i'm asked by my govt to do so? after all, i'm in the military service. the word "combat" is there under the vocation status of any particulars form i fill in. but am i able to do so? without any sense of guilt, or hesitation?

my fav scene: when the group was sleeping in the "safehouse", and suddenly a group of PLO members came in to the same room! guns were brandished, but they managed to convince each other to a cease-fire. of course, the group didn't reveal their mossad identity, but came up with "red faction group" and pointing to a white guy saying he's from africa.. and they all slept in the same room after that. some of them even had a civil chat. i liked it cos it gives a fresh meaning to what these pple want: ultimately it's all the same, they just want a home, a place on earth.

another scene which touched me: a simple one when avner called home and his wife put the phone to their little baby. and avner just crumbled.. he started weeping, and emotions just flowed right out..

cool movie. there are some parts which are thoroughly funny, which is kinda weird considering the gravity of this film. but still, i think we shouldn't be afraid to laugh. oh, watch out for the very short appearance of Ehud Bakar, who would move on to be a war hero in mossad, and subsequently a prime minister..

beautiful jewellery here

Finally met up with meiyang again, after spotting her at service 2 weeks ago. so happy that she msged me! hee.. She happened to be in sch, selling jewellery with her sis at central forum.
that's her on the left, posing with her sis at their stall. it's just outside co-op, near grinning gecko. i promised to help her with a bit of publicity for her, so this is it. =)

Here's a closer look at the jewellery available from today till wed 1st Mar, at the central forum. if u want any, let me know. i'll help u get it.
Or u can visit their beautiful website here. have fun shopping!!

Psalm 32:8

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you."

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;

from the poem "Eloisa to Abelard" by Alexander Pope

my midterm break

spent 3 days lazing at home.. completed my 3rd season of winning eleven.. another treble-winning one, haha. oh and i think it was the first time (other than world cup period) that i watched 2 matches on consecutive days. arsenal was good! so was barcelona for the second half, despite the bad pitch conditions. i can't wait for the network soccer thing to start!! shall put in all my effort in it. =) great opportunity for the guys in the network to know each other.

went to SGH last night. went there to help pastor to baptize a man there. i was surprised to see so many pple there to witness it. was really cool to see them so joyous, despite the dreary atmosphere of the hospital (or is it just me?). anyway, it made me wish i could be older when my grandpa was baptized on his bed too, or at least someone could explain to me what was going on. anyway, hope to share with eugene (his son) when he goes to church with us.


it hurts to hear those things abt me, when all i want to do is to be there for the pple around me, to be a listening ear or just a presence to rely on.. haiz.. i dunno what to think of it. shall have a few more sips of whiskey b4 going to bed. sometimes it feels good to numb the mind.. whatever pain there was seems to recede for a while.. if only they will go away..

my left foot had a good rest today

so did my left hand (sorta..) my driving lessons today were on auto cars. need to fulfil a requirement of 2 auto-transmission lessons. after that i had a driving simulator lesson, which was also auto.. so i didn't use my left foot at all today, haha..

had sushi buffet ytd. thought we ate for only one hr, it was still fun. unlike the last time i went with jason which was so stressful! but i still think suki sushi is a better deal, cos it includes sashimi and soft shell crab plus other premium items of $4.90 (i think), and free flow of juice too!

half of the sushi we ordered..

walked around and saw lots of high-ranking officers from different countries. took me a while to realise that they are here for a seminar, either the APEC one or the asian aerospace. we walked around and tried to take pics of the nice-looking uniforms, but they turned out blur.. i guess being paparazzi requires lots of skill and a good camera.. haha.. but it was still cool walking amongst them. once there was a group of thai officers in front of us, who had 3 bodyguards in suits and white earpieces walking just behind us. now i know how it feels like to be so protected! haha...

and i finally bought new shoes! and it's something i can play futsal in.. Nice?

8 yrs??! OMG...

my phone died on me today.. so sad.. i think many pple tried to contact me b4 and after service, but couldn't.. so sorry to all!!

played pool after tabernacle on fri. i still dun get why pple like to play pool.. so boring and meaningless.. anyway i guessed we had fun.. judging from pictures..


















oh my cell played soccer after service today, so exciting.. on the way back i realised that i forgot to take some pictures of that.. then it dawned on me that my phone was dead anyway.. haha.. oh i finally met meiyang today! at the start of service. she was so surprised when i told her who i was.. haha.. she said i look very different now. gave her my no (cos my phone had to die today..) but she didn't sms me.. haha.. anyway i just realised it's 8 yrs since we last saw each other!! seems not too long ago.. haha.. looking forward to see her again.. =)

looks delicious, doesn't it?

these are the days

it really sucks to realise suddenly how much more one could have done to make another person feel better, or more at ease.. an extra step or a little bit more effort.. a genuine smile or a pat on the shoulder.. or to just put down my pride or push my financial worries aside for a short while. life can be such a terror at times, that pple like me shouldn't make it any worse for others.. this song is for u.. =)

5 Mile (These are the days) - by Turin Brakes

In the five mile high club
You are done for
Concentrate on landing
The town looks peaceful
Jet planes fly too close to the ground
It makes these houses shake
Flimsy figures fall to the ground
In a sentimental earthquake
Oh that's alright, that's alright
That's alright sad song tonight, oh...

These are the days that are driving me crazy
These are the days that are driving me insane
Everyday let your love shine down all around me
These are the days that are driving me crazy

When brothers and sisters fall to the ground
In half hast harmony
Lots of dreams for their wide eyes
But a small reality
Oh that's alright, that's alright
That's alright sad song tonight, oh...

These are the days that are driving me crazy
These are the days that are driving me insane

Take a train and then a jet plane
Travel back and forth in time
Pleased to meet you, what's your name?
I'm afraid I forgotten mine
Oh that's alright, that's alright
That's alright sad song tonight, oh...

These are the days that are driving me crazy
These are the days that are driving me insane
Everyday let your love shine down all around me
'Cos these are the days that are driving me crazy

These are the days - Let your love shine down on me
These are the days - Let your love shine down all around me

Love, at any cost

watched the constant gardener today.. so happy, watched 2 great movies within a week. a last min thing actually, only decided this afternoon. at first i thought the movies will be quite similar, dealing with 3rd world countries and so on.. but the style and texture are so different, to begin with. Gardener has a much more personal viewpoint, and justin quayle really grows as the movie progresses. and the cinematography is not unlike that in "City of God". the varying colour used to differentiate the locations and moods, the frequent switches betwn fixed camera and handheld, or the panning to show that the sprawling golf course was only a railway track away from a crowded slum.. wished there were more stuff abt the UN's work though. there was only one dedicated scene, where food aid was air-dropped to a village.. i think the best scene for me was when justin went back to her apartment, and was looking thru the glass door. that was the first time he broke down emotionally and cried out.. interspersed with some flashbacks, plus the colour effect, and the witty lines, really made it heartwrenching to watch.. haiz..

From the movie "The Constant Gardener". real funny stuff..
Tessa Quayle: "I thought you spies knew everything."
Tim: "Only God knows everything. And he works for the Mossad."

Justin to Tessa: "if these plants are your children, you will be prosecuted!"

next movie: Munich


p.s. there will always be frens around you! including me!! =)

you'll never walk alone

we won 5-1 today!! haha.. sounds like a big win, but i think it's not much of a big deal.. the opponents were not really "there".. but i put in a only an average performance.. which reminded me of what one of the driving instructors said to me, that i'm am "too gentle".. i think it is true not just in driving, but also in soccer, and my way of dealing with pple, within the navy and without.. i just can't seem to put in a push or shoulder charge without feeling a bit of guilt.. hmm seems like i better work out this issue soon, b4 i go back to the navy..

i thank God for what i've been thru these few days.. at Xtreme kids, i realised i'm not cut out for conflict management. i can't even handle kids properly.. so the "UN option after the navy" have to be thought through carefully.. haha.. oh and that other little incident only reinforced what i've been doing. that i should keep my eyes focused on the right thing. i was suddenly so worried abt where the kid disappeared, thank God he was ok. =)

interesting sermon today. slandering is a sin. hmm seems like i can't run away from all these no matter where i go. but i'm not afraid, cos the Lord's judgement will be upon them. =)

p.s. who wants to watch The Constant Gardener with me?

sat roadtrip

here i am back in sch.. unexpectedly.. i'm here to get my soccer gear, cos the venue for tmr's match is changed from nus to punggol.. near where i live!! so i have to make an extra trip back here to get my stuff, then go for YA.. hmm no time to have lunch.. haiz.. but at least i'm glad that the match is not cancelled, and also that there's no PE this sun.. haha.. hope to have a good performance tmr.. =)

p.s. thanks gracie for helping me buy tickets for syriana! forgot to thank u earlier.. hee..

rise and shine!

wow!! i woke up at sunrise for 2 consecutive days!! unbelievable.. ytd was for driving lessons at 8am, this morning was just to wake up and run.. never thought i could do it.. haha.. wonderful feeling, but i really need to get in shape.. need to be able to run 10K competently..

hosted some visitors ytd. lucky for them i wasn't feeling grouchy nor groggy even though i woke up so early, and had only an hr's nap after my lecture.. haha.. showed them arts forum, co-op, law area, bizad canteen, then we went to eat at arts canteen. they keep saying that pple are staring at them all the time. i tried to assure them that they only stare at pretty pple, but i think they didn't hear me..
















seriously, i dun see anything wrong with them.. why would pple want to stare at them? hmm so paranoid..

oh went to watch syriana with jason last night. was really good. a powerful political film abt the oil industry and the various players, both state, private, and individual. complicated though intricate, the plot depicts so stunningly the murkiness of oil politics, thru stories of unrelated individuals. finally come to terms with the phrase "power corrupts"..

(spoiler ahead!)
couldn't help feeling for the eldest son of the emir though.. he was the reform-minded one, wanted to use oil money to build a proper infrastructure in his country, bring stabilty, maybe even democracy and rights for women. unthinkable in the middle east. but he was educated in oxford (jason said his younger brother was also from oxford, but i thought cambridge.. those watching it help me look out for it can?) so i guess it sounds acheivable. anyway, he had to be taken out, cos a certain superpower in the world doesn't want an oil-rich country to be too successful, too independent from them, otherwise they can't meddle in their domestic politics and in the meantime suck their resources dry..

ok i'm going on and on.. can't help it, kinda like these sort of movies.. haha.. anyway this movie is not directed by george clooney! the director is stephen gaghan.

oh could be playing soccer this weekend. thankfully there's no PE. finally can use my new shinguards, and the umbro shorts i bought specially to match our heat-absorbing black jersey.. i hope it will not be cancelled last min.. or change in venue.. leaving my soccer stuff in hall, going home now to rest and relax.. been quite a while since i have this "miss-home" feeling.. haha..

sec sch biology

went for general bio open lab 1 today. just some simple stuff, extract cheek cells and viewing them under a microscope. also viewed a hydrilla leaf, and compared the differences of the 2 types of cells.. CJ said these are sec sch stuff, but i don't recall trying all these b4.. hmm can tell how much interest i had in biology.. haha..

those who don't have a proper lab coat have to sign out some kind of disposable-looking ones.. doesn't look professional enough.. hmm think i'll borrow jason's labcoat for the next few sessions..

reminds me of SARS period.. haha..



got an old microscope, cos we had to sit at the very last row. didn't expect to see anyone i know, so was surprised to bump into chowjing. so he shifted to the last row where we can sit side-by-side. the girls at the last row were kind enough to let us sit with them. =)

Chowjing staring intently at the cells..

argh...

what happened? i was driving so smoothly just on fri, but today i made so many mistakes that i'm sure today is the worst.. nearly went straight into the kerb in front of my while u-turn, or rather i didn't even attempt to turn.. my mind just went blank.. haiz.. plus my lane discipline was lacking, gear changing was not smooth.. could be due to the fact i woke up early, or could be mon blues, or that i'm still not progressing with my fyp, or the buried loneliness pulling me into my own gut slowly but surely.. or could be cos liverpool lost again.. maybe all these, plus all the silly things happening around me these days.. it's killing me, i swear..

cried in my sleep.. again.. cried very hard this time round.. kind of refreshing, took a nap of almost 3 hours. makes me forget even what i was crying abt. but just 10 mins back in this world makes me so depressed again.. hmm should i go watch i not stupid 2? haiz i'll decide tmr.. so many other things i should be thinking abt instead.. oh time for dinner. shall go meet some real frens, hope that makes me feel better..

自强不息

FedEx, the world on time...
.. but one step slower than SingPost.. hahaha...

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So.. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream." --- Mark Twain